Companionship ends too soon because people stop putting in the same effort to keep you, as they did to win you.
– Anonymous –
You may have lost people in your life. Sometimes they don’t understand you and sometimes you don’t. But what went wrong? Did you treat them well? Did you value them the most?
Just as your car needs maintenance, maintaining our companionship or relationship with others is very important.
I was bad at my parts and I found many mistakes which I shouldn’t have done it in my previous companionship.
I know the pain of losing people from life. Though we cannot change the past, all though we can change our future.
When you fight with your loved once, you have many remonstrances and complaints. And in that case, your ego tells you to stop talking with them or go away from them.
Moreover, you get angry at them for small reasons and it then turns into a big political war.
In the end, you have two choices: either you lose a person or you let go off your ego and hold the person you love.
So what will you choose?
It should not be that difficult for you to choose but many of us get in a dilemma.
I will talk about your part of duties today and give you reasons why some people leave your companionship and move out of your life.
Emotional Connection Is Absent
We have heard this term many times. But what exactly an emotional connection is? It is a bond that both the partners have between each other in the form of strong feelings. And it can be in any form like anger, sorrow, happiness, excitement, etc.
When you are attracted to one’s soul and their thoughtfulness rather than their physical appearance, you get connected with each other with deep senses. You can talk to them about anything which you won’t say to anyone.
But when you start feeling that the other person is not connected to you as much he/she was before, this is where we get things wrong.
Many times you are not the reason for their bad mood. It can be many things that they are going through so give them their space.
If you think that others will understand you by themselves, but you are wrong because it doesn’t happen all the time.
For those who don’t get quality time with loved ones, try to have conversations daily. Meet on coffee, sometimes do breakfast together or go for the movies. You have every single chance to get near to the one you love.
Love is an effort. Once you start showing an effort, your partner will automatically start showing too.
All you need is to make an effort and see the magic of how it helps your companionship.
They Don’t Feel Appreciated
Appreciation is key to every relationship in the world. I think it is the most important one. If you do not appreciate the one you love for anything they do, you will not receive their true love.
I met many people and made friends – I never bought a coffee for them, no expensive gifts exchanged or not invited for big parties. Still, they became close to me because I always appreciated them and compliment them. I thanked them for being with me.
But many a time, we forget appreciating. So, praising someone you love or prioritize the most is a good thing to do.
Do you remember any compliments that were given to you and you still remember it even after years? I remember so many and trust me, it gives me the best feeling.
Now, how happy someone will feel when they are appreciated? Just the way you felt it till now.
This will stay with them forever. Trust me, and not fake compliments, like the genuine one, from the bottom of your heart.
Every human on this planet likes appreciation and is the best way to strengthen the bonds of companionship. An employer, a boss, a wife, girlfriend, best friend, parents, family members, siblings or anyone. You have all the love and respect for your loved ones, show them the mirror of your feelings.
Appreciation is the power, so make everyone’s life shines bright. This tip has been featured on itsallyouboo.com amongst the 41 Experts Relationship tips.
Discomfort In Silence
I have read somewhere that when two people having a deep connection with each other they can sit in the same room without uttering a word and still be comfortable in silence.
It means you enjoy each other’s silence and still feels like you have spoken a lot. And that’s the best feeling. But things go wrong when you start feeling discomfort in their silence.
We all need “me” time. At that time, you can do anything you love doing. You can read a book, watch a movie or simply sleep – whatever you like. It doesn’t prove that you people have less intimacy with each other.
You both love each other just the way you loved yesterday. There is love in silence too. So feel it and be comfortable with it. It will get you closer to your loved one.
Because if you will keep on forcing your partner to spend time with you, listen to your shit then they may get frustrated.
They start feeling that, all they have to do is understand you & it makes you happy. It doesn’t matter if they are happy or unhappy. Slowly and gradually, they may go away from you.
The silence in love has all the power as it makes your love louder than your tongue does every day.
Adjustments Are Temporary, Change is Worth It
Since childhood, we have been taught that if your marriage doesn’t work properly, you have to adjust. Not even marriage but adjustment comes in all relations. You are an employee and some things you find wired in office but you adjust.
In the end, you will be frustrated and punish yourself by getting angry. So relax, and understand what I say. There is nothing call adjustment. You can’t do it and can’t expect it in return.
Since the day you were born, you have been adjusting the whole of your life. Adjusting with your best friend, for money, partners and other relations. But until now, you have done hard work and not smart work.
Instead of arguing and adjustments, you can open the door of change in them. Change is a constant thing in a human and if you don’t want adjustments in life, this is the best way.
Change is necessary for both of you. When you are fed up with compromising, take out a diary and write down points which you want others to change. Also, write the things you want to change in yourself.
You can’t expect a change in a few hours, this is a process so have patience. The changes you want to see in your loved ones, you start doing it. If you think, they don’t talk to you properly, you start the conversation.
Give them a lovely hug, appreciate them and have some pep talk.
If you want that they should not get angry on small things, you start doing that first. If you think they don’t listen to you, you start listening to them.
The day will come when everything you do will pay off. It’s always a give&take in a relationship, but somebody has to start. So, start with yourself.
Never adjust, because it’s always short term and you cannot take baggage for a whole of your life. Stop adjusting, and start changing yourself first.
Breaking The Cycle Of Negativity In Relations
Above all the points that I discussed with you, are the main reasons for spreading negativities in your relationship.
Anger, complaints, adjustments, uncomfortableness, and jealousy are the true spoiler of your companionship.
You can’t imagine the power of these demons. It can ruin everything or maybe you have experienced in your past.
Keep the negativity out. Don’t talk negative things with your loved one especially when they are already going through rough times.
Make your partner smile. Be the reason for their happiness.
One of my friends shared a small incident with his wife. He had a business and he was running it solely. He was trying to make it a success, but it didn’t go well. He was stressed already and shared with his wife.
His wife shouted on him and blamed him for his failures. At that time, he needed a pep talk but all his partner could do is to blame him and made him feel more miserable than before.
This is the problem. You can’t always play blame games with your loved ones. Because even if you are winning, you are losing the game.
Therefore, make your lovers feel safe with you. Build a trust that nobody can break and create a healthy relationship.
No Sense Of Humor In Relationship
So, how your sense of humor affects your relationship? A sense of humor is not about jokes or sharing funny moments with your loved ones. Rather it’s more about letting go.
One of my friends was having an affair in college. She fell in love with a guy in college time and then they got married. They didn’t realize how their love turned into a toxic relationship.
She was going through a lot and shared her problems with me. After listening to her whole story, I came to a conclusion.
I said to her that they both need a relaxing moment. It’s not important always to win an argument or feeling bad at small things. Happens between all couples and every other relation too.
Differences will be there in opinions but it shouldn’t be bigger than your relationship. And we all do these mistakes.
We want to win an argument, but instead, let it go. Release yourself with everything. What’s more important is your relationship than anything else.
A sense of humor is releasing yourself from anger and grief. Give a light moment between every difference and you see a big change in your relationship.
You don’t have to keep up the fire to fight, keep the fire to let go. This is the sign of healthy companionship.
I am sure now you have got some details to think about it and re-play your role and cherish your companionship.
If you have been through rough times, don’t worry. We all do mistakes but it’s important to learn and not repeat the same mistakes again.
I wish you all a happy life and if you want to talk about anything related to this topic, you know where to find me.
Always here for you.