You do have to follow your heart, otherwise, you’re living a false life.
– Eric Mabius –
Don’t pretend what you are not. Stop living this false life. Yes, we all need makeovers. We like getting new things, wearing expensive clothes and expensive makeups.
But not for others. You will get ready for yourself. You will feel complete with what you have & not what you want to possess.
Life is not living on false terms, fake promises, fake love – it’s about being you & accept the people the way they are.
It’s simple mathematics & I hope you will get this simple key to living your adulthood with more fun and real times.
Myself being a Millennial, have a lot of millennial friends. I grew up with them and have been seeing them for ages. People get comfortable with me really easily an I am
You can share with me anything & I make sure I will understand your problems from the root & won’t judge you for no reasons.
When I was in school I had friends mostly outside school. Because I was an alien in my own classroom.
I would not talk to people with a fear that they might judge me for anything that I do or don’t do. I was a scared soul all the time like some spirits were behind my happiness.
But during that time, I spent a lot of times knowing myself and observing people. I was absurd about some teens talking nonsense.
They would talk about competing with other students in such a way that they thought they are the only winners in the class.
The same kind of spices I found when I was going for my tuitions. I made friends there, a few but I found a drastic behavior.
They would just love talking about marks & what they like the most even if it was their reality was different.
Talking about false life, let me share with you one of my life instances and acquaintances.
I met a girl there. Her name was Nidhi. She was simple, chubby & very talkative. Would laugh at anything and didn’t know how to stop feeling awesome even if she didn’t feel.
Teens have kind of a feeling that if they will not behave awesomely they will lose their friends for not being awesome.
When we first met at a computer coaching institute, she came to me with a smile. I was a little uncomfortable getting such an unfamiliar smile. I smiled back for no reasons.
She asked me with a big chunk of enthusiasm, “Are you Saloni? You used to come to Manjula teacher’s house for tuitions right?”
I was still confused and said, “Yes, how do you know?” She again smiled,” Well, one day you forgot your bag in parking. Your bag was on my vehicle.
You just placed for a charity and went inside the class. When I came out and saw an anonymous bag, I & my friend were thinking about who’s bag it is.
We were acting like C.I.D officers & suddenly I saw a girl running like a Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge Kajol shouting my bag, my bag…. “ She described each act thoroughly.
She continued, “Since it was dark you couldn’t see our face but we saw you through the street lights and you just looked like a Girl with a face of getting your so-called Raj.” Then she stopped talking and laughed so big.
I and my friend were standing with her meeting for the first time and not really feeling like that. She was making me feel like I was kind of a celebrity whom she met in the dark night & became my fan.
I laughed with her and told her, “ Your memory is sharp.” Then I said “I remember, I forgot my bag & it was very silly, laughing in my head after getting my bag. By the way thanks for not throwing it on the road.”
She told me with her kind eyes, “ That’s okay. But I also want to say you about your bag. It was Bunty Bubbly (a Bollywood film) right. Quite filmy choices you have.”
I laughed again and said to her, “ Being a fan of Bollywood films so yes, you could expect from me.
And that’s how we became familiar with each other. Every day we would meet, wait for each other & sat together in the classroom.
We had a good bonding with each other for our common love – Bollywood filmy dialogues. Throwing some dialogues to each other & that is how we used to talk.
We became good to close friends. Even our phone conversations were also about songs & pictures and some silly daily TV soaps discussions.
When we entered the phase of adulthood, we were not in touch. But one day she called me up all of sudden & we started jelling together again.
From then till now, I know her how she is. I feel sort of no change in her attitude.
Some things I found in her which were wrong somewhere. I felt like discussing with her & give her the right way to think about her own things.
She has a simple nature but was a confused soul. She would say X, do Y and feel Z. That’s kind of abcd she learned since her childhood and same abcd she repeated in her adulthood.
She was living a false life. Life for her is a place of hope, good things, care, love but she was still not in the picture of accepting the real truths about life & people around her.
She was lacking in understanding the difference between real life & dream life.
As a younger soul, you come across many feelings. Feeling of first sight love, feeling of being alone, feeling of getting possessing everything you like, feeling of making new friends who are even not according to your taste.
I have managed myself to observe some free souls and got to know how they are acting upon their first friendship, their patch up, their dream life, their real life – everything.
Here are some points which will shed light upon some truths about the false life that today’s adults are living.
1. Laughing Over Everything
We are emotional fools because we are all human. But sometimes we don’t fill the space with the right kind of emotions. And that’s okay, it happens with everyone.
First and foremost, what do I mean by laughing over everything? It simply means taking everything casually.
You felt bad for getting not so good marks than your friend but instead questioning your inferior feeling, you laughed over it. And that means you took it casually.
You just laughed over someone’s emotions about a guy and made fun of it. You didn’t give a second thought and took it casually.
A guy touched you abruptly in the name of friendship and you laughed over it saying it’s fine. Friendship is like that with guys.
A group of colleagues tease you in front of other colleagues and demonizing your self-respect and you would laugh over it, feeling that it’s normal.
Your parents are fighting over your lazy attitude towards your studies and you are laughing over it feeling that this is not my age to be studious but to enjoy my life with my friends and roaming to the cafe.
We need a guide to know the exact rules. It doesn’t matter in the beginning if you follow the rule at the time of emergency.
But you should realize the rules, after your abandoned behavior with someone or something. Slowly you will start following the rules from the guide.
Now, who is gonna provide the guide? Who’ll set borders for you? It can be your friends, parents, relatives or society.
You are defined by values created by your 5 closest people around you. They will scold you, they will be your best friends, they will lend you their hands in good & bad times.
You forget some important things every time there is a need for it. When some groups in your school or in your college tease or bully another student, you laugh over it and it’s a closed chapter for you.
You laugh over your own “bad feelings” and ignore your true feeling. You know what is right but you act like an alien & laugh over everything that is not important.
Laughing over everything doesn’t solve your problems. You cannot ignore the situations in the middle and move on.
You gotta solve it right there. Don’t take your life or anyone’s life casually. Laughing over will be a nice act to leave the situation for some time, but it won’t be last longer.
Take your life in the right direction. Many times, we know what we are doing but we will not act upon it because we take it casually.
We get bored easily with everything and that leads us to pour false feeling in your life. Stop leaving false life.
Visit your guides that have been said to you million times by the people who love you truly.
Don’t take anything casually. It’s also not a serious kind. But you have to be careful in drawing the human life between your robotic acts.
Keep the emotions priority because that will bring out the best in you that will be loved by people.
2. Liking What You Don’t Like
Faking is a common thing among teenagers. And I see that it is there for a reason.
You want to look cool in college by attempting some bike stunts, roaming with the most beautiful girls, attempting something which you are not comfortable with but you wanted to be the first to attempt it.
We do all these for your validation. Longing a stamp on your butt that yes you are cool.
You are terrific, charming, funny, an amazing sense of humor. A perfect dude or the prettiest girl in the college. Loved by all professors and teachers.
You are important. You are born Hero.
When I was in college, I had a friend signature book. I used to give it to my close friends who would fill it up some questions that are being asked about what they like & what they don’t & what they feel about me.
I gave it to one of my friends and she started writing all the answers. In the end, she told me to read that in front of her.
In one of the column, there was a question – Who is your favorite singer? And she wrote only one singer – Shakira.
I felt like she never really talked about any Hollywood pop songs of Shakira. So I asked her, “Isn’t K.K is your favorite singer?” She smiled & said, “Yeah but I like Shakira more.”
I was like okay kind of expressions but I knew what she was trying to do.
She was trying to like something which would give her a tag of being the most intelligent person on the earth to know English and also sing songs in English.
I see many adults who love to hear some Bollywood masala songs but just to look cool, they would suddenly start hearing Hollywood pop songs.
Now hearing is not a problem. The problem is they don’t really like to do it but they do because they need a stamp of knowing and signing the English songs.
Some adults will also act like they know the English language the best. If they can speak outside in front of people and others can’t then they suck in their life.
Some adults would lie about their own language medium in which they have studied. They will say that they have studied in the English medium school or colleges. Because that’s their false pride which they believed is the truth.
You want people to like you. And that’s why you will do “n” number of things to impress them. In the process of being loved by people, you will still be dissatisfied with yourself.
Your true version is what matters. You don’t have to play it cool if you are feeling hot. If you are not feeling like doing it. Do what you feel.
Your real likings will shine over you. I always say to my friends,” If you don’t like what you are doing, how will people like it.”
You are not here in this world to stick stamps on yourself. Be awesome at the same time weird. You can be cool at the same time be caring and loveable at the same time being sad.
Don’t make yourself happy for the sake of happiness. Don’t make yourself liking everything which you dislike.
Be an adult to live upon your own terms, no stamps stuck & no values are forgotten.
– Saloni Desai –
You are not living life for others. You are neither living life for the sake of living. Then why you are doing the things for the sake of doing.
Put original thoughts in your head instead of being influenced by other people. You don’t have to be ashamed of your identity.