Fixed Mindset in Millennials is the bi-product of our upbringing and our educational system.
– Fahim Lashkaria –
We see that millennials struggling in their careers, relationship, and whatnot. It is not that they lack anything but because they are programmed. Most of them are trained in this mindset from an early age.
Being a Mindset Coach, I often see parents coming to me for their children and also millennials that come to me and share their stories. I am sometimes horrified by their stories.
You call yourself a parent, teacher, and leader. How can you do this to your child, student, or team?
Let’s start with the parents first.
Parents play a substantial role in cultivating this fixed mindset.
Pay attention to this very carefully and I am sure you will find one that you have been doing with your kids.
- We teach them to look great instead of being better.
- They learn from us to hide the deficiencies and never think of overcoming them.
- Teaching them to look for friends/partners just to increase our self-esteem rather than focusing on people who challenge them to grow.
- We instill them to do tried and tested things instead of trying new things/experiences that stretch them.
- We always emphasize on their results and never efforts they did to achieve something.
The list is never-ending, but just a few to notify here. If you start recalling your life as a parent you will find hundreds of things.
This mindset further is concreted by the educational systems today.
You are a parent, just think about your child getting in school. I have kids and often go to their parent’s meeting. We see teachers emphasizing on these grading systems.
We hear stories from kids that the smart students are seated in front rows and also given the privilege to take notes to the principal.
These all things instill a fixed mindset in kids. If you are average you don’t exist. If you are weak have no right to be given the privilege.
The same is carried to our career. First of all, we choose our careers depending on other’s success. Don’t even care is it for us or not. Do we enjoy it or not.
We as bosses always keep the performer in the job at the top list similar to the student with good grades. Don’t invest time in employees to help them grow and make the best out of them. We even don’t care enough for them and what they are going through.
Taking it to workplaces, since day one we have to do the perfect job. We need to be completely in line with the job rules. Horrified by our colleagues. We can’t even raise hands to say I made a mistake.
We want to look smart instead of saying I don’t know and learn. Additionally, we are ashamed of sharing our problems due to a lack of trust.
If you are a man then trying to push yourself and prove yourself. If you are a woman the saving yourself from the harassment. In the end, we are frustrated and we take all this to our relationships and end up lonely.
Case Study – 1
There was a Bollywood movie, “3 Idiots” which explains this very easily.
The movie revolves around 3 characters of the movie – Rancho, Raju, and Farhan. Their stories give us the best lessons.
The movie emphasizes the value of being smart rather than looking smart. The incident of Rancho using a spoon and electricity when the senior tried to pee on his door.
Ranco was passionate about knowledge no matter how he got it. Experimenting, learning new every day.
In the movie, the incident of Raju’s fear and attempting suicide emphasizes the pressure the current educational system puts on student’s minds.
Farhan’s story brings about the side of parents forcing them to do what others do, killing the art and passion of the child.
After doing all this, we complain that our kids aren’t doing anything proper or purposeful. We have given them the life they are living.
I was reading the book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. She says and it should be made compulsory by every parent if they want their children to have a Growth Mindset.
If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning. That way, their children don’t have to be slaves of praise. They will have a lifelong way to build and repair their own confidence.
You can change a fixed mindset with regular efforts. These Millennials have immense potentials.
I am a Behaviour Analyst and a Mindset Coach purposefully working on Millennial Mindset. I see them wasting their talents. Furthermore, I want to help them discover themselves and be successful in life.
We have a Millennial Mindset Development Program that you can join to know yourself, find your purpose, change your fixed mindset, develop a growth mindset, and climb the stairs of success.
Feel free to ask for any help you need. We will be more than happy to help you as a parent, boss, or teacher.
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