Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
– Harriet Tubman
I wasn’t the way you see me now. Happy, contentful, cheerful, mature, & full of life. I was shy, an introvert & an absent-minded while studying in my college. I was called an alien.
Sharing ideas with classmates, doing ice-breaking sessions & giving impeccable presentations like my other friends used to do was never my cup of tea.
However, I was saved by one of my professors whom I admired the most. She was amazing and had very observant skills. She saw something which I couldn’t see in myself. She was a wonderful professor. A South Indian lady with amazing teaching skills.
We were about to complete our first year of college when she joined the college as an economics professor. She was more than a professor. Easy to get along with.
I loved talking to her. I felt great sharing with her about what I want to achieve in life & where I want to take my career. Slowly and gradually our relation got better. We became friends, then close friends and then best friends.
She became my guide and used to encourage me to do things that would help me in my life. There was an extempore competition in our college. It is a speech competition given without any preparation.
She asked me,” Are you taking part in an extempore competition?”
I replied, “ I am not sure ma’am. Let’s see.”
I tried to avoid the situation. She knew much about me and especially my fear of public speaking.
She emphasized on me just as friends do. She said to me, “Saloni, if you don’t take apart, never talk to me again.”
I couldn’t take that. Making her upset was a tough task for me. She was everything to me. So I decided to speak for the first time with due respect for her.
Thus, I replied to Ma’am, “YES, I am gonna do this.”
On the day of the competition, I went into that classroom where the competition was taking place. She was sitting with other students.
I also sat down on the first bench. We saw each other and smiled at each other for the reason that just only we both knew about it.
The host came on the stage and started the speech:
“Welcome students. We are so happy to organize this amazing extempore competition and that too with over 50 entries. Today, the college is surely going to be on fire. So, All the best to all of you and let’s start the show. Who is coming up first?”
Everybody looking at each other’s face & pointing at the stage to go first. I don’t know what happened to me. Suddenly, I stood up and decided to go first.
The host welcomed me with a big smile and gave the bowl of chits of the subject to speak about. I took one out of it. The topic was “The Booming online retail industry”. Quite broad & not so fascinating.
However, I just tried my best. I was given 5 minutes. Whatever I read about it this topic; the facts, companies, trends, etc I just spoke everything. I was just concentrating on it and carried on the speech. Thank God, I accomplished my speech time in 5 minutes.
It was not the best speech or even a good speech. But it was the beginning of my journey to upcoming public speaking events. We both were just happy that I spoke in front of 50 people and never stopped in between.
From that day to this day, I have had more than 100 public speakings, with more than 500 audiences. My voice turned in speech. And yes, I started my YouTube channel too and speaking to a thousand people. I made mistakes, listened to people’s giggling behind my back. Most Importantly, I won the battle against my fear.
Dale Carnegie has said, “Do the thing you fear to do. And Keep on doing it. It is the Quickest and Surest Way Ever Discovered to Conquer Fear.” and it perfectly worked for me.
This instance in life provided me enough power to knock off my introvert personality.
The beauty of life is that every good thing will happen to you in this particular life only. You don’t have to wait for the next rebirth.
Getting started in life is a very crucial step. I read a beautiful quote by Johann Wolfgang, “ What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.”
You can only see growth and change in life if you start to change it by now.
If you want to become a radio jockey, you need to start practicing your voice and develop your personality, sense of humor, create your podcast, sharpening the speaking skill.
Once you practice the skills, you can bring out a change in life. You will suddenly start getting what you have always dreamed of. Just as I did.
I will share with you 13 things that helped me grow in life:
1. Changing My Mindset
I am not talking about changing your habits or your nature. It’s about your mindset. It’s about seeing yourself outside yourself.
When I was in my teens, I used to be very shy. I lacked at sharing my thoughts even though they were quite good enough (as my close friend used to tell).
I used to think a lot about what other people will think of me if I do this or do that. And one day, I was fed up.
I started having those urges in me which were telling me “Saloni, come on, you need to place your opinion in the world.”
All this changed, when I presented my thoughts to 50 students in the classroom including experienced professors at the extempore competition that took place in college.
Though I didn’t win the competition but gained my confidence. I could bring something out of me which was valuable that day.
And that’s how I changed my mindset to open up myself and present my thoughts no matter what. My urge was hitting up new heights every day I woke up. I use to tell myself not to get scared of being opinionated.
Your mindset plays the biggest role in your life. Many research studies say that you can change your mindset at any point in life with gaining experience.
And why not? Even at the age of 15, I was able to understand what is needed in life to grow. And many of us know already what is lacking in our life.
However, 80% of the time we see ourself doing mistakes and know what we are doing them. But still, we do not have an urge to change the mindset. We still want to believe in the same things that have not worked for us in the past.
To know your mindset, to know what is wrong or right to change in your actions, curiosity is crucial to know outside yourself.
When you know something good to change for yourself, you can change it later on stage. Be intimate with what you do and how you do. One of my friends wanted to stop being angry. She asked me how could she overcome this.
Now, here are two perspectives to consider:
- She is aware that she gets angry and can’t control it.
- She wants to control it no matter what.
She started thinking about it. So every time we used to go out, she would remind herself for the day, I won’t get angry on anything or anyone no matter what happens. I will be calm.
And that day, she didn’t get angry. She was a calm whole day. She did this every day consistently. Slowly, gradually and magically she forgot to get angry.
Reminding yourself about the change can help you become the one you want if only you show an urge to change your mindset.
Until and unless, you don’t stop labeling yourself that you are an angry person, you won’t be able to change your bad features. Because by categorizing yourself as an angry person, will always make you angrier than less.
2. Accepting Mistakes And Correcting Them
I know it is very difficult. You have to turn off your egocentric feelings and accepting your mistakes. Trust me, accepting it makes your life easier.
We think that accepting mistakes will decrease our value & we will be no longer be in a position to blame others or lose out the right to do so.
I accepted my own mistakes when I was judging myself & my capabilities. I also made mistakes while setting up short term goals in life and thinking everything with a negative perspective.
I made mistakes choosing good friends in the past. However, today these mistakes turned into experience. These experiences made my life much easier and I became a thoughtful person who is thinking everything good about myself & others, eventually being happy.
Your mistakes are never bigger than you. I learned this three years back when my best friend and I were no longer in touch and I blamed myself for our break up.
But then I realized, my mistakes are not my deciding point in life. These mistakes are my experience and I should not repeat it the same.
I should be stronger than weaker. Today, I am not judging anyone by their look, behavior, or religion. I am not thinking negatively about people who have done bad to me and I am not sad because of my mistakes.
Mistakes are automatically erased once you accept it that you have done it.
3. Never Be Rigid
One of my close friends wanted to become a pilot. She was fascinated by airplanes. She wanted to fly all day long if it was possible.
She decided to join a professional course in the USA to attend the flight departure course. She was very much excited about it.
We were together since childhood and since then I knew she was in love with aircraft. Her parents told her before that maybe you don’t want to become a pilot which I told her the same.
There is a difference between like & love but she didn’t listen to anyone and went to the USA. I heard one day that she was coming back to India.
Her health issues were increasing and she was not enjoying the course. Now she is working in an e-commerce field for 3 years.
We sometimes forget to set realistic dreams for us and tend to be rigid with what we like. We need to think before deciding the path on which we want to walk.
She paid for it. The course was about 10 lakhs, also she paid extra for her health expenses & accommodation. She invested her 2 years in the studies and the end, she changed her goal.
She never understood the importance of choosing the right goal and got stuck at one point, in one career which was a bad decision in her life.
Riding to one perspective is not healthy for your career. Not only as of the career perspective but also relationships, parenting & friendship.
Being rigid with one ideology, one side thinking will always drain you down. I was very much rigid when I was in my school & college time. I used to walk with the same shoes on different roads. Thus, I couldn’t walk along with the flow.
4. Choosing The Right Path
The above point has more similarities with this one. Once you stop being rigid, you start choosing the right path for you.
When you stop tagging yourself like, “I am an angry person, I am an introvert, I am a loser, I am a smoker, I am night unproductive” – you start losing yourself and left with some tags that you might think you are but you are not.
I realized I was always tagging myself to be an introvert. Once I opened my mind, I changed my path. I decided on my destination. Today I am a writer & videographer.
5. Experience Failure in Life
I read this in one of the New York best-selling books, that when you experience the failures early in your life, you get successful early. The taste of the medicine is always bitter, but the recovery is tastier.
You need to fail to experience success. There is one small but amazing experience I had early in life. I was around 13 years old when I failed in the science exam test. I cried a lot for failing.
However, I had a chance to regain my marks. I could re-appear for the exam. It was a class test but important for the term. You will be surprised to know I scored 90 out of 100.
A girl who failed at the first attempt, later on, passed scoring 90/100 in the second attempt. My teacher was shocked and asked me how did I do it.
I replied,” Ma’am, I studied hard and my mother supported me to score.” She couldn’t give more expressions on it however I understood what she implied.
The failing and success strategy repeated for every success in life. And now it’s like for every small or big success, I have failed at every one of them on the first attempt and sometimes even second, thus I enjoyed the process of failing.
6. Listen Carefully
Listening is the best practice you can ever develop in human life. You can be a good leader with listening skills. Listening can help you gain self-control.
You earn patience as well. You control your emotions and wait for the other one to respond and listen to them carefully.
Just like speaking, listening is a crucial thing to do. At work, when I don’t listen to my boss properly, I used to do work which opposite was what my boss has said to me because I didn’t listen to him properly. Not listening properly turns out in bad decisions.
Even when you are developing new friends and relationships, if you don’t listen to a person what is he/she is saying and how they are saying it, you will not able to know their real intentions.
We all need to develop an ability to listen to our parents, friends, partners, bosses, and professors – listening can make you a king or a queen.
7. Believe in growing yourself
A belief needs hope. Hope needs value and community support. When you believe something, you get connected to it, you build hope around and then you act.
Your act is nothing but called as growing yourself to achieve something. Whenever you want to accomplish anything in life, you first need to believe that this track is going to work for me.
If you don’t believe or have self-doubt about yourself, you will not be able to achieve it. I was studying in the Gujarati medium until 12th std.
I was weak in my English but I had an interest in learning this language. I wanted to speak like how actors in Hollywood throw amazing dialogues.
To grow myself, I had to have a belief in me, that I would learn it and speak the language without any hesitation.
I grew myself from the last 10 years and now easily able to watch Hollywood movies without subtitles and reading English novels without any hurdles.
Keep your belief high to achieve your dreams with an igniting hope inside your heart.
8. Change the way you live
Let’s be straight forward, you cannot live one type of life for the whole of life. You can’t be mediocre for the whole of your life. You cant be a victim for the whole of your life.
I changed my ways to pursue my achievements. Before 2 years, I was waking up late and now I wake up at 7 am.
Before 1 year, I was not exercising, now I go for swimming and dance practice. It simply means, to achieve something, you need to try out different ways.
You need to work on a trial error basis. Chaining the way you live also means handling the routine schedule.
To gain good marks, you can’t get it just by studying every day 2 Hours just like you did in the past. Now you have to wake up early in the morning, study more, and give time for revisions.
Changing your schedule is very important. I can tell you my daily schedule is now very different than last year of July month.
I wake up early, I go for exercise to lose weight, I work extra hours daily to increase my earning. The more change you want in life, the more change your daily routine should you bring.
9. Be Consistent
One thing we certainly lack at being consistent. The city where I live in experience a lack of consistency every day.
I went to a restaurant with my friends. They had a buffet system. We loved their food and decided to come back for the next birthday party and we went there the second time. We hated the food quality.
The pasta was half cooked and we struggled for the next dishes as well. The staff was the same, even the chef was the same but the taste was different. Usually, it happens with other cafes and restaurants as well.
Whether it’s a business, a product, or a life, maintaining consistency will only make you win the grounds.
A lot of youngster among us starts with something new. They have some igniting desire burning inside them and they start as well.
For the next 2-3 months, they run their ideas. After you meet them after a year or two, their business idea is changed. Career paths are different.
All quiet because no-one has the burning desire to keep consistency for the next day or months or years. They decided their judgment day too early.
This will never make you achieve something in life. Whatever you do in life, do it every single day no matter what comes in, no matter how much you are busy. Be consistent and keep your spirit high.
10. Gain Confidence
This is another solid key to keep you growing in life. Gaining confidence in life makes your decision making power stronger, your opinions matters and your voice becomes a command.
To be a successful singer, speaker, actor, writer, chef, and sportsman/woman, you need to build confidence for every goal. I am not saying confidence in terms of public speaking.
Gain confidence in everything you want to do in life. Your confidence can be a powerful tool you can win small or big battles in life.
I started writing for 3 years. Now writing professionally. Just because I gained confidence that my voice in my writing matters.
I started learning swimming because I gained confidence that I can become a better swimmer without fear. Confidence is the opposite of fear. If you want to kill fear, join the hands with confidence.
11. Keep a Company of Positive People Around
Your mental attitude is decided by the 5 people average you are friends with. Choosing the right kind of people around you is very very important in life.
Do you remember when you were in school, your parents used to tell you to seat with rankers even if they are not your friends. Why did they use to tell you that?
Because they know that being in a studios’ company, you will become one of them soon. I used to sit with rankers during my school not by my choice though.
I used to observe my bench partner how she is doing her studies, work, and what she is focusing more on. I unlearned my things and learned her approach.
This helped me very much in my studies. When you keep a good company, your mental energy diverts into seeing positive things.
You think good, you feel good and you embrace the people and environment around you magically.
12. Carry Your Attitude But Not Ego
In the above points, I mentioned change and growth many times. It has a direct relationship with something that you have is your attitude.
You are a human with an attitude and that becomes your personality. Every one of us has the right to grow in life. Every one of us is struggling in life to achieve something.
When we achieve, what we become is more important than what we have achieved. There is a fact that we all need to accept is we cannot become something bigger than us or achieve something without someone’s support or guidance.
That is why I mentioned in this article, you build hope around what you value in life and what this community around means to you.
Your growth is not your growth, it is there for the people we will work for and we will make their lives at ease.
We are praised by the people whom we entertain. If by chance, you have an attitude in life being alone, being enough for yourself then you are mistaken.
You are here in this because of the universe, the God and the community around is settled enough for you & your existence.
13. Have Faith in The Universe
When we think we don’t have the power to build a land for yourself, call out on the universe and he will do the rest for you. The Universe works magically.
Surely we have learned the logic and facts all our life. The surprising fact is that the Universe works on magic and not logic. I was growing in life but I had no correct vision for myself and no spiritual mindset.
I was sitting with my mentor on one pleasant evening and he showed me a video of a girl who wanted to see Northern lights in Norway and how the universe bestowed upon her and she could see those lights without having the chance of happening by any time.
This small instance kicked me and I started believing in the magic of the universe. I wanted to make my finances stronger and earn good money by the end of 2018.
And guess what, I achieved my earning goal. I just believed in me and the universe that it will provide me what I am best for.
If you have 1% of self-doubt that you will not be able to achieve this or that in life, you will not achieve it. Universe wants you to first believe in yourself and then believe in him to make you capable enough of your dreams.
Looking back now, I found myself as a new Saloni. These 13 things helped me and I am sure they will help you too. I pray for you to grow in your life.