Hate destroys the very structure of the personality of the hater. When you start hating anybody, it destroys the very center of your creative response to life and the universe; so love everybody.
– Martin Luther King –
We all know that hate ruins us more than others, but still, we hate people. Hate is a negative emotion and a natural phenomenon. But how long you nurture it defines the effects it will have on your mental health.
Hate is a negative emotion. It completely disrupts your thought process and kills positive thoughts just like a small spark of fire is enough to burn the dry grass.
This negative emotion not only effects our thoughts but also affects our mental and physical health. Research has proved that it leads to many chronic heart and brain diseases.
It turns into never-ending, debilitating stress that starts ruining your health. Moreover, hate is contagious. You start it and see how it gets viral.
Let me list some side effects of hate:
- You can’t sleep properly.
- Having headaches now and then.
- Get sick often.
- Lose interest in sex and thus hindering your relationships.
- Feeling tired due to overflow of thoughts without doing any physical work.
- Distorted stomach or upset stomach.
- Overeating or loss of appetite.
- Getting angry about unnecessary things.
- Increase in stress and anxiety.
- Forgetting often.
- Sit idle for hours.
The above-listed side-effects are just a few.
Recently, I came across a small story that exactly fits here. Though it is a very simple and small story helped me make my children easily understand the effects of hate.
Story – Rotten Potatoes
There was a 5th-grade teacher. She noticed an increase in children’s fights. She planned to teach a lesson to children in a smart way.
The next day, in the last period, the teacher announced to all children to bring one potato for each person they hate in their class.
All the children followed the teacher’s instructions and brought the potatoes. Some brought 2, some 3, and some 5.
The students told the teacher that they have brought the potatoes. The teacher further instructed to carry those potatoes with them wherever they went and had to do this for 5 days.
Children agreed on it and did the same. Days passed and the potatoes started to rot. Initially, the smell was bearable and so none of the students complained.
After the agreed 5 days, the teacher asked about the potatoes. All the students were standing out of the class due to the very bad smell of rotten potatoes.
The teacher then instructed to throw the hate for others outside the school along with the rotten potatoes.
The teacher then explained to the children how keeping the potatoes for long hindered them more than it hindered to those who they hate.
Similarly, the longer you hold on to hate and nurture it with negative thoughts you are the only one who is going to suffer the most.
How Hate Ruins Us?
I hope the story well-served the purpose. The question is how it ruins us.
Being a Mindset coach, I often meet many people who are depressed or suffering from anxiety. Mostly, the reason behind their illness is the hatred they always carry.
One of my clients had a break-up. He hated the person so much and thus was always in the turmoil of thoughts.
He couldn’t stay positive, he had nervous break downs and especially he wasn’t able to trust even the good ones.
And when he decided to throw hate away, his life changed drastically. He started living a happy life with a good partner.
Once you hold hate for long it becomes your belief. It hinders your decision and judgments. It hacks your mind. Slowly and gradually you start developing negativity.
You start to see and deal with things differently and you develop fear. Fear of losing, fear of betrayal. These things start creating circumstances that didn’t exist.
Furthermore, you start getting isolated, and finally, you are left alone. This is how it ruins you.
In many cases, it also encourages the person to hurt himself, and especially when they see others doing good in their life.
Having said that, now it is upon you how long you want to carry the rotten potatoes with you?
If you are not getting paid to hate and make yourself miserable, stop working for free. We are smart people and we dont like to work for free. So the choice is yours.
If you are already stuck in negative emotions, you can practice exercises to stay positive in negative situations.
If you need any help or would like to talk about changing your life, feel free to contact me. I will be more than happy to assist you.