It’s such a paradox. You come from this place where you want fame; you don’t want to be bourgeois, but you want to be successful. You want to be accepted, but you also want to be going against the grain. You want to be on the outside, but you want to be on the inside.
– Dan Colen
Do you realize sometimes that what people say about themselves is not they do in their life?
Do you feel you are losing your originality?
Do you lose out your strongest relations once you thought were the best ones in life?
Many of us are confused, right?
You want to do the things that you believe in. But you don’t do because other opinions are in consideration. When you are around some groups, their opinion matters to you rather than your own.
Everybody has their point of view around you & many times it happens with you that you are not able to take your own decision. So how & what can you change about it?
Below is an example that is connected with all of us on a personal level. A similar experience might have happened with you many times.
You are very much helpful to your friends in difficult times. Whenever they are in any bad situation, you are there for them.
And why you do that? Because you are a good person. You value their presence in your life. So you run fast and help them in their need.
And when you call that same friend when you need help, but somehow your friend was not able to come to help you.
In such cases, your friend wanted to help but couldn’t come because of his/her reason. You didn’t expect that from your friend. But he/she didn’t show up or made an excuse.
And this is where the moment of thought comes into your mind that your friend didn’t stand by you as you did for him/her.
Either you feel bad or tell them on their face creating a mess between you both. it might happen that you silently you decide in your head that this not what I call friendship. You start creating distance with them.
It ’s going to take you nowhere. You will lose out on friends. You will lose out on your mental peace.
1. Handle With Care
So how can you handle these things in life with everyone and still not losing out on yourself (your natural being)?
If you read me in focus, understand my every word, you are going to get doing simple easy things. It may sound like you know all of these, but as I told you, we all know the solutions, but we don’t know how to apply it in life and get going easy peasy.
So, The first thing you do is, take everyone’s opinion because it is acceptable. But you always forget someone to consider the opinion. I am talking about – “YOU”.
Their life formulas may work for them but sometimes not for you. Because you are a different being. Your personality, attitude, nature, feelings, believe- it’s unique, right?
Listening to people’s opinions is a decent thing. But completely ignoring your thought process is not right.
2. Don’t Trade With People
When you start feeling that people don’t help you the way you do for them or don’t love you the way you love them.
This is the moment you need to slow down here. You helped your friend every time because that’s your nature. That’s your being. But expecting the same thing in return is like looking for water in the desert.
Don’t do that to yourself. I tell you If you do that, what bad will happen to you. You will become selfish by expecting your friend to do the same as you did for them. well, that’s also not a definition of friendship.
You never return the favor. ( but yes, you do return their money! Haha). You are with them not because you want to return your favors. You are with them because at that time you can be yourself.
You do it because your being tells you to do it. You feel for your friend. So it’s your personal feeling for them. It’s your care for them. You don’t trade your emotions with them.
If you expect in return, you lose your nature. You lose the origin of those good emotions which you have carried for your friend for long.
If you argue about what your friend did with you. I am sorry to say but you are doing a mistake here. A big mistake that you don’t realize but it will hamper your relationship with that friend.
3. Taking Back Seat From Negative Emotions
Sometimes in life, taking back seats from negative emotions about someone is real happiness.
You always look for peace in life. For that, you go on vacation and read books. That is also a fine thing to do. But if you don’t understand this simple fact that creating negative emotions for someone hampers your peace in life too.
Till now you have handled this kind of situation to get over your bad feelings – you go on vacation & you think you will forget about it. It will be a temporary solution.
Solve everything in life no matter how small or little thing that is, solve it permanently. Just like happiness comes from little things, peace also comes from getting too long time solutions.
Don’t hold on to something for very long for someone. You solve it by telling them, talking about it nicely to them that you felt bad. Because after telling them you are free to go man!
You are free to go from those bad feelings that you got for them. Speaking things honestly will solve your problem. You don’t lose your good side just because someone has shown you their bad side intentionally or non-intentionally.
It’s not at all your job to look out for others do. Your job is to do good, be a good person, and rest leave it upon the universe.
Do good to others not because of who they are, but because of who you are.
Remember my words:
“ Life doesn’t give you all the same lemonade.”
So chill out, enjoy this beautiful life, and make your virtue stand. Losing your self will always confine you will guilt and disappointment.