The best way to overcome fear of failure is to stop fearing the rejections and bothering yourself with other people’s opinions.
– Fahim Lashkaria –
Fear of failure is the worry we experience when we think about what can go wrong instead of what can go right. In simple terms, it is nothing but a fear of shame, rejection or loss.
The first and foremost thing to keep in mind is to think about the regret of not trying. Imagine sitting in your rocking chair at 60 and regret not doing it. Tony Robbins calls it the Rocking chair test.
Now, tell me one thing anyone has done without failing.
Did Wright Brothers make the plane in the first attempt? No.
Was the bulb invented in the first attempt? No.
Ok, let us leave all these big things aside.
Just tell me, did you start walking on the first day? No.
You started walking after failing for 100s of times. Tumbling down, getting up again and again. Then what is the harm of doing in your adulthood?
Success and growth are inevitable without failures. The one who hasn’t failed hasn’t tried anything new. According to me, failure is the learning process through which everything evolves.
What Causes Fear of Failure?
The main reason for fear of failure is the overprotective upbringing. If a person has overprotective or authoritative parents, they are more likely to develop it.
The overprotective parent or partner will not let you do things yourself and add to it by putting your focus on what could go wrong. Whereas the authoritative parents or partners always want you to take an approval before doing it. In both cases, we fear to do something.
The second thing that instills the fear of failure is the expectations. Either it is our expectation or peoples around us.
As I said earlier, failure is a learning process. You cannot master something without being failed at it. But, often we and people around us expect so much that it develops fear what if we failed and did not do according to their expectations.
In short, fear of failure develops when we focus on the result rather than the process. If you consider it as a process you will learn from it and if the focus is on the result then you will run from it.
Fundamental Keys To Overcome Fear Of Failure
Here are 2 fundamental keys to overcome the fear of failure. These are the basic things that help you to see failure differently.
Clearing The Myths of Failure
How many of us hear and believe these things:
- Failure is Evil.
- To Fail is shameful.
- Failure is going backward.
- Failing means dead-end.
The list goes on. None of them are true. If anyone of this would be true, the human race wouldn’t have made any progress from the stone age.
When we start believing these false myths, they convert into our beliefs. Even though when we are capable of doing often these beliefs stop us. We need to identify these myths and challenge them.
As humans, we always ask for logical answers for everything. But when it comes to this, we back off. Try to find the logical aspect behind each of these myths. I am sure you will drastically FAIL because none of them have any.
Evaluate the Opposite
If your mind accepts something, it willingly acts upon it and vise versa. The second thing you must do is to develop a thinking pattern that supports what you want to do.
There are two sides to every coin. When your mind brings forth the fear of failure. Just hear it completely. Make a habit of thinking the other way round.
For example, if you fear failure and think people will laugh at you because you are trying to do something unusual.
Try to focus on, what if it works, the benefit you will have if it works and all such things that are sufficient for your mind to accept trying rather than sitting back.
Many times, social pressure is the major cause of it. I only have one answer to this. No one is going to come to your home and feed you. You are responsible for your life and growth. Stop bothering yourself of people’s opinions.
Thirdly, get ready for any outcomes. Once you are ready for any outcome, your fear vanishes. You can only control what is in your hand. You cannot do anything for those things that are not in your hands. So why to bother our little mind for that.
Developing this thinking helps you stay positive. When your mind is still and calm, you can see your other side of the coin and move forward. Whereas when you fear something the vision is unclear and it is difficult to see the solutions.
Clearing the myths and developing a reverse thinking pattern will help you rethink about your fears and help you easily overcome them.
The set of rules that don’t let us move forward are called limiting beliefs. We act and respond accordingly. These beliefs overtime develop a fear in us to do a particular thing.
The only thing we need to do is to develop a particular mindset to overcome our fears.
If you have any question feel free to ask. We will be more than happy to assist you.