Self-love doesn’t mean that everyone will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. It means that you won’t let them change the way you see yourself; nor will you stick around for them to destroy you.
– Tony Gaskins Jr –
Self-love is often misunderstood by arrogance and selfishness. But, it is a healthy boundary about which we aren’t taught while we were growing up. It is the borderline after which nothing matters more than self.
My mentor taught me one thing which I always tell my people:
“If you don’t value yourself, don’t expect that others will.”
We make the mistake of loving them more than ourselves. We sacrifice everything for being with them and around them. But in the end, we feel being used and fooled. We don’t have the right to complain as we are the only ones that gave them these powers.
Our success, relationships, happiness, satisfaction, manifestation, etc depends on what think about ourselves. Hence, we need to learn self-love and practice it.
Let us first understand what self-love means and why it is important?
What is Self-Love?
Self-love is not being egoistic thinking that we are the smartest, most talented, or the most beautiful person here.
It simply means taking care of yourself as you might do for your friend in distress. Treating yourself with kindness and not criticizing or blaming ourselves for everything.
Moreover, it is taking care of our own needs and not sacrificing our well-being to please others. It means not settling for less than we deserve.
It is choosing ourselves over others even if it means upsetting others for self-respect. Speaking up to express how we feel, think, or want to do instead of killing our desires.
Self-love is nothing but a bunch of small things we do that comfort us. It includes:
- Wearing what we feel is good than what others want us to.
- Depending on ourselves and not others to make us happy.
- Accepting every good and bad of our life with responsibility.
- Doing what we love and not what pleases others or just to be in their company.
- Stop punishing ourselves for our past mistakes as they can’t be changed.
- Complimenting ourselves without feeling guilty, arrogant, or entitled.
- Spending quality “me time” to understand and upgrade ourselves.
- Discretely choosing what to and what not to share with others.
- Allowing ourselves to dream big without limiting beliefs or a lack of sense of deserving.
- Being our real self, instead of what believing others think of us.
- Set boundaries to protect and nurture our relationships.
- Refusing to seek permission from others to be ourselves.
- Loving and accepting ourselves even when we fail miserably.
Now it’s upon you to decide how much self-love do you practice.
Why Self-Love Is Important?
Self-love is your secret to living a fulfilling life. What is inside is reflected on the outside. There are enormous reasons why Self-love is important.
Leads To Self-Awareness
Often we make decisions out of inner guilt, for pleasing others or to avoid some kind of conflict. In such situations, we overvalue others and undervalue ourselves. We think it as an act of selflessness or love. But that’s not true.
It sends out the message to people around us and also to our inner self that we are OK with it. We are happy with less and our choice is secondary.
On the contrary, when we love yourselves, we become the highest version of ourselves. It leads to self-awareness and inspires us to take good care of ourselves physically, mentally and spiritually.
Develops Our Belief System
We often see people reaching from rags to riches. We can achieve that too. The only thing that we need to do is reconstruct our belief system. Truth is; you can achieve anything in life if you believe. There are no boundaries.
A belief system is a set of principles that form our being. It is nothing but an invincible force that develops your behavior. Self-awareness leads to a thorough belief that we deserve it and we can achieve it.
Helps To Set Healthy Boundaries
Most of us weren’t taught this while growing up. And so often we end up cleaning other’s shit, lack in doing necessary things or schedule our own life.
Healthy boundaries mean nothing but to exercise control over what ideas and opinions are we take in, and which we disregard depending on circumstances.
We see many people living life on other’s opinions. They like it, they need it, they will love it and mostly their happiness is my happiness. The list will go on.
Setting healthy boundaries means not letting other’s opinions influence us. Influence to do things randomly without thinking. It means consciously deciding what to let in what to reject or deny that is not meant for us.
Cultivates Attitude of Gratitude
When you indulge in self-care and love, it brings about the feeling of fulfillment and happiness. As we indulge in acts that make us feel happy, we get in the realm of positivity.
Over time this positive mindset helps to build an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude is a spiritual discipline. Being grateful is the key to success. When you are grateful for what you have you feel contentment.
The universe helps you manifest more of those things that you are grateful for. It prevents you from being greedy and hence saves you from disaster.
Some of the proven benefits of gratitude are: improves psychological health, improves self-esteem, and provides mental strength.
For more reasons to practice self-love, check out what 25 experts have to say on “Why Self-love is Important?”
Self-Love is the foundation of our life. It defines how we live our lives and how we treat ourselves and those around us. A lack of self-love leads to self-abuse. Abuse through food, substance abuse, or even mental abuse in the form of poor relationship choices.
Thus, it is not only important to practice self-love but it is essential. We can’t expect others to treat you like king/queen when we don’t treat ourselves that way.
If you have any questions or queries, feel free to share it in the comment section, we will be more than happy to assist you.