“We are most alive when we’re in love.”
– John Updike –
We often confuse lust, infatuation or other strong emotions with genuine love. This is because as humans, we all have some emotional needs. Emotional needs are feelings or conditions that make us feel happy, fulfilled, or at peace.
When we encounter lust, infatuation, and other strong emotions, some of these emotional needs are fulfilled. But not all. Many times, it is connected with worldly pleasures and even monetary benefits.
Now when these few emotional needs are fed to the soul, they start considering it love and even real love. Usually, in all such relations, it is a barter system.
When these emotional needs aren’t fulfilled, it makes us feel frustrated, hurt, or dissatisfied. They give you what you want and in return, you give them what they desire. When one of them stops giving the barter, the love suddenly vanishes.
It takes simple gestures that make your relationship stronger and makes your partner feel appreciated and loved. But only a few of us do as we are not sure about our relationship yet.
What is Genuine Love?
Friendship, Brotherhood, Sisterhood, Parentship, and Coupleship all are forms of genuine love. All these ships ride in the ocean of unconditional love. When this unconditional love turns conditional will make any ship sink.
Mother doesn’t do anything for the child to get something, brother or sister doesn’t do for their siblings in return for anything. Similarly, when a spouse does anything it is not for any benefits.
When all these relations are done to get something in exchange then the problem starts. The other person will be dissatisfied and unfulfilled.
Difference Between Loving Someone And Being In Love With Someone
Both of the above statements feel to be the same but are very different from each other. In simple terms, Loving someone is wanting them whereas being in love means wanting the best for them. Loving someone is quick and being in love with someone is a gradual process.
Let me explain.
When we meet someone, they talk with us, support us and like our things. They praise some of our matters and we start thinking that he/she is our love.
We start seeing each other, talking to each other and in some cases, we even get into physical relations. This is what we call loving someone.
We like them until they fulfill your emotional or physical needs. Once any one of them stops doing it the so-called love vanishes in the air.
Love is not a task or destination, it is a process. When we are in love, you feel the person in their presence and even in their absence.
Love doesn’t make you weak or dependent. Besides, it makes you stronger every time you feel it. Love happens in small details over time.
It is respecting and accepting your partner with all their flaws. Having a complete understanding of them even in their downturns.
All this process takes time. As it makes your partner feel secure, over time it turns into true love.
Love is different, it has many forms and it is finding yourself in your partner and giving your partner the same. This is what we call being in love with someone.
Signs You are in Love
When you meet someone and feel the warmth. It is a kind of secure feeling just similar to your comfort zone, think that it is your true love.
Someone makes you feel complete. We are not in destruction but feel fulfilled by your soulmate. True love is about pure happiness and sacrificing your anger for the sake of your partner’s peace.
We never try to hurt them in return no matter how bad they say to us in anger. As a partner, we always understand their mental level. Taking care of each other in every possible way.
We tend to keep our promises and never break their trust. Trust and loyalty are the most important factors to run a long-lasting relationship.
Love is another name for respect. By respect, it doesn’t mean calling them often with a lovely name or opening a car gate for them.
It’s about understanding them instead of directly jumping to conclusions. Know their reasons and if something goes wrong and communicate.
Most importantly, this communication is not the expression of frustration but it is explaining of anger. Instead of indulging in big fights, communicate and give time to each other.
Loving doesn’t limit to giving gifts to your loved one because they are upset, but understanding them is one of the best gifts you can give to your person.
Signs You Are Into Something Other Than Love
The base of this relationship is mostly about physical needs. Just being with them or talking with them doesn’t suffice. Getting physical, even though it is a kiss will be required.
Either of you will always be dissatisfied with physical needs. This dissatisfaction always will lead us to long for more and more. The main cause of fights of such couples will be dissatisfaction. It is a sign of mere attraction or infatuation.
Usually, such relations are connected to a person’s outer side. It’s about your lover’s skin, voice, thoughts, talks and how trustworthy they are. We tend to see them wearing our own binocular. We want them to be like we want them to be and not what they are.
We seldom feel and fall for others and often doubt your relationship. When some other person starts to make you feel good and suffices some of your emotional needs of praising or taking care, our confusion erupts. It makes you question our existing lover’s feelings.
Such people try to make others understand their feelings and never try to understand their partner’s feelings. They are completely self-centered and over possessive.
Falling in love and developing a bond is a wonderful feeling. But staying in relationships is about satisfaction and feeling good in their presence.
It is being yourself and completely open with your partner. A feeling that you won’t be judged or misunderstood. Staying in relationships requires mutual emotional investment and commitment.
If you have any queries or questions, feel free to comment below. We will be more than happy to assist you.